By Matt Doan · July 12, 2025 · 3 min read

The Onlyness Edge

“Matt, you’re not technical enough.”

That sentence didn’t just sting—it split something open inside me.

I was the head of a global strategy team. I could see complex systems from high orbit, translate ambiguity into clarity, navigate board-level decisions with fluency. But apparently, that wasn’t enough.

They wanted me to blend in.

To become more like everyone else.

To chase technical certifications and stack credentials just to check a box.

Inside, I said: F*** that.

Not out of arrogance. Out of clarity.

Something in me just… knew.

I couldn’t keep playing this game.

Couldn’t keep contorting who I was to survive inside a system that punished what made me great.

That moment was a fracture.

A rupture between who I had become—and who I was meant to be.

I didn’t have a roadmap yet. I didn’t know what came next.

But something irreversible had been activated.

I was taking a step toward graduation.

It wouldn’t be the last.

What most people don’t realize is that blending in is not neutral—it’s corrosive. It eats away at your authenticity, your energy, your creativity.

Over time, it hollows you out. I didn’t want to spend another decade eroding who I was to appease a system that didn’t value it.

That was when the word started circling in my head: Onlyness.

At the time, I didn’t know where it came from—just that it felt real. Later, I traced it back to a book I’d read: The Power of Onlyness by Nilofer Merchant. But the spark had already caught fire.

I became obsessed with the idea.

The idea that you are the only person in the world with your exact blend of lived experiences, scars, values, quirks, genius, and perspective.

The idea that this was your leverage.

Not something to hide or neutralize—but to mine, amplify, and lead with.

Onlyness isn’t fluff. It’s survival.

Because if you don’t own what makes you different, you will be forced to perform as someone you’re not. And eventually, that performance will break you.

I see it every day.

People leave corporate life, but bring the same identity with them.

They build businesses that are technically “independent” but still built on external expectations. They mimic playbooks. Pick market niches like flavors from a menu. Keep asking: “What will people buy?”

They never stop to ask: “What do I already hold that no one else can replicate?”

That’s the game. That’s the unlock.

It’s not about doing something better.

It’s about doing something only you can do.

That’s what creates a Category of One business.

That’s what turns a random coaching offer into a movement.

That’s what gives you a brand, not just a product.

It’s how you stop competing—and start owning.

My client, Lance, is a prime example of this.

He spent 23 years in banking. A highly respected SVP. He knew how to play the game. And then… he chose to walk away.

Not because he had a better offer. Not because he “figured it all out.”

But because he listened to what was already inside him.

He wrote a best-selling book, Adversity Fuels Purpose.

He started coaching, speaking, guiding others through their own fire.

He didn’t pick a niche. He activated his Onlyness.

Every painful experience he lived became the foundation for his work.

And now, his business feels like him. Bold. Clear. Alive.

This is what I want for you.

But you must be willing to turn inward.

To mine what most people ignore.

To draw the through-lines between your hard lessons, lived experience, point of view, and native skillset.

To name what you’ve spent decades suppressing in order to fit in.

That’s your Onlyness Edge.

That’s your real niche—better yet, your category.

And when you lead with it?

You become uncopyable.

You stop asking “what’s my offer?”

And start answering: “What am I here to unlock for others, using what I’ve already lived?”

You stop needing a personal brand.

You become the brand.

This is one reason we built the Corporate Graduation™ Lab.

To help people surface and harness what makes them irreplaceable, and turn it into a $30K/month business that makes corporate optional.

In the Lab, we walk them through a process that reveals their Onlyness, shows them the business it points to, and provides the strategy to bring it to life — one that makes corporate optional and alignment non-negotiable.

If you’re ready to finally stop mimicking and start leading with who you really are, you can apply to the next Lab. We’d love to guide you through it.

But most of all, this is about you.

Your Onlyness is not a nice-to-have.

It’s your fuel.

It’s your freedom.

It’s your future.

Own it.

—Matt

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What’s next:

• Reply to this email—share your thoughts or questions about onlyness. I read and respond to every message personally.
• ​Apply for our (free) Corporate Graduation™ Lab—an immersive, live workshop where you’ll learn exactly how to navigate the journey from corporate success to entrepreneurial ownership. It’s where we help high achievers design $30K/month service businesses rooted in identity, not templates—while protecting income, stability, and family life. Backed by a decade of work, $250K+ in development, and 145+ clients served. This is where real transformation begins.
• ​Explore our podcast for deeper insights into Corporate Graduation™ strategies and building your next chapter.

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